I'm afraid people won't like me if i make more money
I’m afraid people won’t like me and think I’m a greedy asshole.
There, said it.
I’m committed to showing up every day and being my most vulnerable, authentic self.. and so sometimes that includes writing from the heart about different struggles or insecurities I’m going through.
In part because yes, I know that when I show up fully as me, my clients and audience feel safe to show up fully as them. And that’s great.
But from a personal perspective.. I gotta talk this shit out with myself. I have to say it out loud into the world so that I can work through it.
Yesterday I had a 25k sales day, 22k cash.
Good God I felt on top of the entire world.
Because well yes, money. Money feels nice.
But receiving money from soulmate clients who love, appreciate, respect, and trust me and who are 100% confident in working with me, feels even better.
Being compensated for being me, and the skills I teach, and the transformations I create.. well.. it was the fulfillment I was seeking all along for the past four years.
I never thought I could create something this beautiful.. well how could I? I didn’t know what the fuck that looked like.
But I think I always knew… scratch that.. I ALWAYS knew deep down, that I would become successful as fuck. i would become a millionaire and make a lot of money.
Even if back then, I didn’t have a clue as to how that would happen.
Because I just know in my heart, in the deepest fibers of my BEING, that I have the core belief of…. “I can have, do, and be, whatever I want. Because I know that I will either find the way to do that, or learn from someone who does, whatever it takes.”
So truly yes.. I can have what I want. Whatever that may be. And that is a fucking empowering feeling.
It also comes with confidence.
And lately, as I’ve unfiltered my content online more and more, and allowed my true self to shine.. and say whatever is fully on my mind..
I also find myself talking about money.
Because well, why would I hide from it? Why shy away from it like 95% of the population does?
For almost my whole life, I did what most people do. Didn’t talk about it, didn’t look at it, didn’t fucking have it.
And now that I’ve done a lot of work on my own money mindset (reading books like Secrets of the Millionaire Mind and You Are a Badass at Making Money).. I don’t feel that way.
I recognize that NOT TALKING ABOUT MONEY inherently signals to the universe that you are not ready to have it. Being scared of a thing is a sure way to avoid it, either consciously or subconsciously.
SO I TALK ABOUT THE GOD DAMN MONEY.
Because I’m proud.
Because I see money as a tool to grow my business and change more lives.
Because money enables me do do things that FILL MY HEART WITH JOY AND LOVE. Like paying for a Europe trip for my baby brother and I who I literally love and would die for/do anything for. To see his face light up during that trip will make me feel whole.
AND WHEN I TALK ABOUT THE GOD DAMN MONEY..
I get haters.
I get trolls.
I get people calling me a greedy selfish bitch.
I get people saying that I’m bragging about taking money from other people.
But here’s the thing.
I don’t see it as taking money, which is why I make so much of it now.
SELLING IS HELPING OTHERS. Because if they don’t buy your service, my service, whatever service, the transformation they want can’t happen. If I don’t promote, they’ll never know that it’s possible to work with me.
I truly believe in what I do and love it with all my heart and my potential clients feel that energy. They don’t feel the way these trolls do.
And the trolls?
Well they likely don’t have money, are scared of talking about it and triggered when other people do, and are closed minded as fuck.
And yet I still care. I still let it bother me.
Though I know I shouldn’t.
Because that voice inside my head says….
> Don’t you want people to like you? Why do you have to say all that provocative shit about money? Nobody else talks that way.
> If your friends knew how much money you were making it would drive a wedge between you .. you’re going to lose friends.
> What if you get attacked on social media again when you post about success stories either about you or about clients?
But the voice inside my heart says….
> All those reasons above are exactly why you have to KEEP posting about money. About successes. And speaking your truth.
Because I could just revert back to the old way of being fearful as fuck about money. Avoiding it.
But doing that sure as hell never helped me make any.
And if I’m not making any, I can’t change lives. I can’t live my life. I can’t pay my bills for gods sake.
I’m going to acknowledge that little twinge in the pit of my stomach that I feel whenever someone judges me for it.
I’m going to acknowledge that my human instinct is to want to avoid conflict and have people like me.
I’m also going to acknowledge that the more success I have, the more people will lash out at me for it.
Will I find in a few months or years that maybe my approach wasn’t the best?
But how will I know that if I don’t just continue as I am now and find a better way that feels good to me?
I like it.
I like talking about it.
I like helping other people make it.
^ Affirmations for the day.
I'll finish this post with a quote from a blog post by one of my favorite entrepreneurs.. Katrina Ruth.. who quoted Vincent Van Gogh in a recent article.
“If you can hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint’, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced”
– Vincent van Gogh