Here's why I deleted my 34k Instagram
My fuck this shit moment of the week: deleting my Instagram of 6 years, with 34k followers.
It was oddly freeing. Like, Britney Spears shaving her head freeing.
To everyone else it’s weird as hell - but to you, you know you just need to do it and throw your middle fingers up to the sky.
Ok let me back up and tell the rest of this story before you think I’m losing my shit.
In 2017, I became a “fitness influencer” - whatever the hell that means. Basically, I won a fitness spokesmodel search and therefore my following grew and therefore I became maniacal about growing it by whatever means necessary because I adopted the commonly held, false belief that more followers means better. Better what, I didn’t know. But I assumed it meant better income, better feelings of self-worth, better clients.. whatever.
Throughout the year, I reinvented myself many times.
I had many, many “fuck this shit” moments.
Moments when I thought to myself… WHY am I even posting this crap? WHY do I feel like I have to look / be perfect, say all the right things? WHY am I not posting what I REALLY want to be posting about?
And so I said fuck this shit and did what I wanted anyways with my Instagram platform.
Funnily enough, the more fuck this shit moments I had, and the more I discovered MYSELF, my true voice, and used it.. the more money I made. And the more fulfilled I became in making that money, because people were paying me to coach them simply because they loved me for who I WAS.. not who I was pretending to be.
Now why is that?
I liken it to a dog sensing that a storm is coming.
People can tell when you’re full of bullshit. And in a world where online coaching is “saturated” - the only thing that ACTUALLY differentiates you.. is you.
And secondly.. and perhaps most importantly.. (although I didn’t realize this back in the beginning my journey)..
I was in alignment with my soul’s true desires.
Every person on this planet, desires to be the truest, realest, version of themselves - and to be valued for that, both monetarily and emotionally.
So by saying ‘fuck this shit’ to the things that weren’t in alignment with my desires, I was actually allowing myself to have more access to the things I DID desire.
> Fulfillment. Being loved and compensated for being 100% me.
> Saying yes to things I wanted to do, but was holding myself back from doing due to fear that it would trigger other people.
And so the biggest lesson I learned was..
If I’m doing something because I think I “have to” - or for other people’s sake, then it’s actually fatal to my success. Then it pushes me more out of alignment.
Yes because of the dog in the storm thing, but also because I just feel disgusting and knotted up inside when I’m filtering myself in any way and not spreading my message the way I want to.. (what being out of alignment feels like.)
Ok back to deleting my Instagram and my fuck this shit moment yesterday.
In December after officially “breaking up” with my fitness sponsors and therefor the industry, I took a hiatus from Instagram and didn’t post at all.
I was conflicted as fuck as to whether or not I should try to start it up again. Even though deep down I knew I should just be done with it.
Because for me, it represented an old version of Christie Bailey.
Someone who was a people pleaser, who wanted to play it safe and not piss anyone off.
Someone who was lost and just trying to fit in.
Someone who lived their life in the eyes and spotlight of others.
Someone who based their self worth on external appearances.
And I had evolved. BIG TIME.
I’m someone who has a mission bigger than herself.
I’m someone who is here to show women that they not only get to choose the lives they want to live, have all the experiences they want to have, earn ALLLLL the god damn money and not depend on ANYONE for their survival, and most of all, to feel fulfilled and joyful in doing so.
I’m someone who has run out of fucks about keeping on an old identity, just for nostalgia’s sake.
I’m someone who has realized that other people’s needs and desires of how they want to see me online are irrelevant.
The dog sensing the storm thing. The not being in alignment thing.
If it’s not vibing with me.
If it puts me in low energy (and yes, being reposted to fitness influencer troll accounts constantly put me in low-vibe energy / make me on edge).
If it makes me in any way filter my message, either consciously or subconsciously.
Then I can’t do my work.
I can’t show up as fully as I’d like to.
I can’t radiate that ENERGY that has literally surrounded me with the most incredible clients, and audience, on my main platform now, Facebook.
And when I can’t show up 100% as me, I can’t skyrocket my business to fucking millionaire status, which by the way, is fully the plan by the end of 2018 if not sooner.
So that’s why.
I get why my old audience is sad. Literally, they sent me messages saying that.
I get why people tell me “just ignore the trolls!”
The thing is:
I don’t have to.
I get to consciously choose the energy I surround myself with. I HAVE to consciously choose.
It’s the one thing I’ve done that has made my business as successful as it has been.
I get to make all the rules about how I am successful. Which includes where I show up on the internet.
That’s TRUE POWER.
It’s knowing that I get to go exactly where I want to go..
In the way that I choose and desire to get there.
And so while my best friend Allia reminded me that Kim K gets trolls to and I shouldn’t listen to them.
I’m not trying to be Kim K.
And I’m a red-haired, badass, fearless boss babe.
I do what I want.
Because it feels good.
I could ignore the trolls if I wanted to.
I could ‘power through it’ and post just because my clients like to see me on Instagram.
But I don’t want to. And I don’t have time to do shit that is not aligned with me.
I’ve got women to empower, lives to change, books to write, and money to make.
So if you’re onboard with that, you should probably come join me in my Facebook group - which is SUPER HIGH VIBE, makes me feel 10000% lit up when I’m creating content.. and btw, is the platform that has allowed me to earn 6-figures in the last 4.5 months.
So that’s cool.
Love ya guys.